Ok, time for some more fun. This time we're just going to look at the daily
life of WildWolf and let him complain about it along the way.
First, Wild is awaken by an extremely annoying and extremely loud alarm.
This alarm wakes him up instantaneously, but that's no problem because
he just hits snooze... 3 or 4 times. At this point, he is left with the
moral decision of every college student's moring: Go to class or skip it and
sleep? This given morning, however, Wild was forced to get up and go to
the extremely boring Spanish class, because if he didn't, he wouldn't be
thoroughly motivated to go to his next class in which he had an important
exam: Exam 1. This exam was dumb - which brings him to this paragraphs
conclusion: Exams are dumb.
At this point, he returns to his room and sits at the computer for 15
minutes starving, since on this particular morning, he didn't get up in
time to eat breakfast. He then leaves the room, goes to the "Grill",
which is located in the lobby of his dormitory. This "Grill" has some of
the crappiest food known to man, but, he's hungry so he grabs some anyway.
This food is then placed in a bag and taken with him to work, which is a
nice walk since the building is a few blocks away.
He then makes his way into his office where he magically sits down and eats
and surfs the web for a good 30 minutes or so. At this point he must then
concentrate on actual work. You see, he has to then leave his office,
return to his dormitory, pick up a flyer explaining all the details of the
project he is working on at work (more on this later). Then he spends the
next hour "working" and doing whatever he feels like doing, then he goes
to another class where he usually just ignores the teacher for an hour.
Now, Wild's job. You see, he needed this flyer because it details the
project he's working on. See, you'd think that he would know what he's
working on before the flyers got out. You might also think that he would
have this project done before the flyers are circulated. Well, you would
be wrong! Wild learns about his projects at work by reading the flyers
about his projects at work. When the university paper calls and asks him
for a quote or some type of interview thing about his major project,
he pretty much has to read the flyer for his answers. This is becuase he
still hasn't started on the project yet. These details don't help him in
the long run, and he usually gives strange answers to the paper because
he really doesn't know how to answer the question, "So, what was the
hardest part of this project?" His answer is something like, "Finding out
exactly what the project was."
Well then, after his class he returns to work, checks his mail, bothers
Nathan Camarillo on ICQ for a few minutes to... well... whatever. Then he
returns to work so he can finish his project on time. He likes work on the
first of the month, because he gets paid. He likes to get paid. He likes
money.
At this point he is able to return to his dormitory, make a quick trip to
"Presidential Courtyard" where they also have a "Grill". This grill,
however, contains a small Pizza Hut, Subway, Chick-Fil-A, Ice Cream joint,
and a hamburger joint. He likes this food, but it gets old fast and
now when he goes there he has trouble deciding what to eat. He usually ends
up lying on the floor having spasms.
Finally, he gets some food. On the walk back he overhears a couple of guys
walking in front of him. They spot something and he hears an interesting
usage of the English language. I believe the exact word was,
"Ri-goddamn-diculous". Yes, that's right, ri-goddamn-diculous. He finds
this usage of language inappropriate and is about to say something. Then,
he sees what they saw. A car, perfect condition, except for the rear.
The rear bumper is made completely out of duct tape. His response was
"ri-goddamn-diculous."
He returns to his room, eats, and does homework for 2 hours. Its now 8pm.
He has to pick up some fancy items, so he gets into his fancy car and gets
on the fancy interstate. He picks the middle-lane. Quickly passes a slow ass
car, and is quickly passed by a fast ass car on the other side. He
realizes that these are both old people driving. He then makes the
astonishing conclusion that there are three types of senior citizens.
Those that don't drive. Those that drive 20 mph over the speed limit.
Those that drive 20 mph under the speed limit. Why must Wild deal with
these things?
He finally gets to his destination... WalMart. He then realizes that all
WalMarts in America have the same layout. All WalMarts, except for this
particular WalMart. The only WalMart that is within driving range for Wild
and it has to be different from every WalMart in the entire world!!
He quickly gets lost, but manages upon the electronics department. This was
not his original destination, but he likes electronics so he mingles
among them for a while. He quickly finds 3 DVD's he simply cannot live
without and he buys them. There goes 70 american dollars. He now feels
that maybe it wasn't such a good purchase, but he really likes movies
so once he started watching one, he totally forgot he even owned a
conscience. Well, back to WalMart. He finally finds what he's looking for,
or does he? They don't have it! They have every related product except for
exactly what he wants! Bastards! He says, I hate you WalMart and leaves the
store, taking a pack of gum for good measure.
Well, he decides to visit Chuck E. Cheese and see what's going on. He
works here on Saturdays because they pay him. He likes to get paid. He likes
money. Anyway, there's a bunch of females there. They are all
very annoying so he has no choice but to fight his way to the back
office so he can talk to his bosses. His bosses are cool, which is why
he didn't turn down the offer to work on Saturdays. He feels special
that his bosses are cool. They are even technologically competent, so
he finds that he isn't very annoyed when talking to them about stuff
he's interested in. Those other people, on the other hand, they are all
dumb. The place is infested with dumb people. For some reason,
he feels like he should feel lucky to be working at the only restaurant
in the entire city that has a full staff of dumb people. Other
places don't have this, so Wild is thankful for his luck. He then
decides its time to leave.
He returns to his room. Wait, its 10pm! Damn! So he prepares for bed and
puts in one of his new movies. Next thing you know, he recieves 12 ICQ
messages at once. He cannot resist the urge to answer them, so he does.
For two hours. While he's answering them he just goes ahead and writes a
rant. This rant details a day in the life of WildWolf. He does this rant
completely in the third person, which reminds him of a certain
wrestler, who is the People's Champion. He also likes to lay the smack down.
Hey, he and the wrestler have a lot in common! Wild likes to lay the smack
down on Plasma all the time! Wild is also the People's Champion! Whee!
Thus concludes the worst day of your life.
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